


Yesterday

by Enigmaticrose4



Series: Canon Snape Thoughts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1667885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigmaticrose4/pseuds/Enigmaticrose4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus lives in the present, but can't help but miss yesterday. That is, until he sees tomorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yesterday

Yesterday….

Yesterday it was all so different.

The wind ruffles my hair as I look upon the ruins of the house down below. The sun is high in the sky and I can feel it beating down on my head, causing sweat to trickle down my face. I don't know how the sun can be shining, how it can be making my body so warm, when my soul is so cold. But, then, there are many things I never knew.

How could I have known that what I chose to do would lead to this?

All I wanted to do was make my family proud. I still remember sitting under that silly Sorting Hat. Listening as it decided what to do to me. I made my choice that night. I picked what my family wanted, and made the worst mistake of my life.

I could have been with her. I could have protected her. Instead I failed her. I betrayed her. I hurt her. And now she's gone.

Why'd she have to go?

I did it all wrong…made all the wrong choices…and she had to pay the price.

I've lost half of myself.

And I don't think I'll ever get it back.

I take one last look down at that ruined little house; imprinting every detail into my mind. I never want to forget where my follies lead me. No longer can I stay out here, with the sun beating down upon me.

I turn and leave, making my way back towards my dungeon.

I belong in the shadows, where I can hide away.

XXX

I keep an eye on the first years walking in, but I'm unable to see the boy. Albus said I'd recognize him immediately. He said the boy had her eyes.

I hope that's true.

I always loved her eyes. They were such expressive things. I never could stop loving them, even when they were filled with disgust and hurt.

It's my own fault, for saying something so wrong. Little did I know that life wasn't a game and that we were in the real world, where people really do die.

Minerva is calling out the names of students and I only bring myself to focus on that silly hat when she calls out Potter.

Pain shoots through me as a small boy with messy black hair and glasses hurries up to the hat. No…it can't be. Albus said you can see her in the boy, but all I can see is that horrible man that made my life miserable. The man that took my love away from me.

Something dies inside of me as I watch the boy go to sit with his new housemates.

She really is gone.

Oh, how I long for yesterday.

XXX

Pain…

So much pain…

I can hear myself screaming through the roaring in my ears.

The floor hits my knees, or maybe it's my knees that hit the floor. I can't tell anymore. All I know is that there's so much pain. I can feel my life pouring out of me.

And then I see her. Her eyes are staring down at me – such a bright, brilliant green that I can feel them piercing the very center of my soul.

I don't want to hide away anymore.

I could never hide from her anyways.

And I know that the boy is truly her son. I can't hide it from him, not anymore. He's truly her son, I know that now. I was so wrong for so long.

"Take…it…Take…it"

I pull up every memory that she…no he needs to survive. I can't let her son die. Not after she gave her life for him. She'll hate me even more if I don't help. I know Albus is wrong. I don't know how. But he has to be. Her boy can't die, he just can't.

I'm so close to the end. I want to see her beautiful eyes just one more time, but he's not looking at me. Why isn't he looking at me? I pull on the last bit of strength left in my dying flesh.

"Look…at…me…"

The boy turns his head and I stare into those beautiful eyes of hers.

Tomorrow….

Tomorrow it will be different.

**Author's Note:**

> So my writing muse has been suffering lately. I have so many great ideas for stories in my head and many scenes written out, but when I try to put them on paper they end up wrong. I feel that this is affecting 'Times of Trouble'. Which I feel started as a fairly good story, but is no where near 'The Real Memory', which disappoints me. Because of this I decided to go back to how I did some of my early writing and just turn on some music and just pick a character and write something. Snape has always fascinated me and I kind of see this story as a continuation of 'Too Young to Choose'. And, if you are a fan/reader of 'Times of Trouble', don't worry, I still plan to finish it. Mainly because it feels wrong to not do so, and I do think the rest is rather cool, but it's just not going the way its supposed to.
> 
> Well, hope you enjoyed tragic Snape.


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